meet the sojourners..

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Bye bye masquerade

Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls

Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around

Everybody seems so strong

I know they'll soon discover

That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay

If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too

So with a painted grin, I play the part again

So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people

Under shiny plastic steeples

With walls around our weakness

And smiles to hide our pain

But if the invitation's open

To every heart that has been broken

Maybe then we close the curtain

On our stained glass masquerade


Is there anyone who's been there

Are there any hands to raise

Am I the only one who's traded

In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing

And we know every line by heart

Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free

If I dared to let you see

The truth behind the person

That you imagine me to be


Would your arms be open

Or would you walk away

Would the love of Jesus

Be enough to make you stay
I have heard this song SO many times over the last six months and probably shed tears each time because it was sooooooo EXACTLY where I was, and... where I still am, depending on the day, the time, the situation, and the people involved. The difference now is that there ARE those, albeit few, that I trust enough to be completely totally honest with. It's risky, they may think less of me. They may see my weaknesses, they may see my ick... but they LOVE me, FOR ME. These precious people God has given me actually WANT me to be real, and honest, they WANT to be there for me and WITH me... they don't want the pat answer that everything is fine, and our adoption journey has a storybook fairytale ending. Yes there are some people I'll always wear a mask around, BUT there are others who continue to shatter my walls and creep closer to my heart, daily .
 They are the most beautiful people in my life.


  1. Lisa,
    Thank you for being so gut-wrenchingly honest with how things are going! I am SO PROUD OF YOU! Please know that when you are ready to talk, I am ready to listen. At the same time, I want to give you the space you need. However, please know that we are praying for you and the family daily and you are never far from our thoughts. WE LOVE YOU, RESPECT YOU, AND KNOW HOW TRULY SPECIAL YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. So glad we found each other! You CAN do this and it will get better. Or you will learn to accept and move on. Your kids will be okay and you will be stronger. Believe it.

  3. It's hard to be transparent, isn't it? There is a very real, and very specific reason God placed these special people in your life...even it it is only for a season. You trust them, and now - that is what you need.

  4. Lisa,
    I am so proud of you. I also want to let you know that I feel that your adoption journey isn't over yet and it just may have that fairytale ending!! I can't wait to see how God continues to work in your life!!

  5. Oooh, I LOOOOVE Casting Crowns! That song is a good one. It is so perfect for what you are feeling right now! We love you, Lisa!!!