I hate this guy, seriously I do, I hate him. This guy has it all together.
No, really.
Even when he's a jerk, forgetful, says hurtful things and handles things the wrong way. Even when he makes me feel incompetant and like I'm totally alone in my already isolated world...
He has an unwavering faith that I'll never be able to wrap my head around.... sometimes I love him for it, other times I hate his guts because of it....
But ALWAYS I am grateful for it - for my kids sake.
This man I call husband, works a 50+ hour work week at his civilian job, takes 9 credit hours of GRADUATE course classes a semester, and drills with the Navy Reserves once a month JUST to make ends meet because of RADison's adoption debt. When he comes home he is immeadiately put in charge of RADison because I can't deal with him. He usually attempts to do some sort of cleaning after the boys are in bed. All of that and he puts up with a wife who has lost her mustard seed faith, who is exhausted and discouraged. He never complains that the house isn't clean anymore, that his clothes aren't ironed, that dinner's not ready or that I haven't gone grocery shopping... still. He loves me through it, and in spite of it, and he does the same with the kids.
So, today, honey, even when I don't act like it, even when I don't say it, especially when I can't say it, I LOVE YOU, and I appreciate all you do for ALL of us. You are the best father-Ever.
I need not torment myself with the fear that my faith may fail; as grace led me to faith in the first place, so grace will keep me believing to the end. Faith, both in its origin and continuance is a gift of grace. -J.I.Packer
ReplyDeleteRest in the grace of Christ, my sister!!
xoxo MB
What a special man. I think all of our husbands deserve a medal for hanging in there and believing in us when love shows no semblance of what we imagined. When we don't want to live anymore. When our stomach churns when we hear RAD's voice. When fear overwhelms logic and faith. Grab hold of that blessing and say thank you God, even if it's the only thing you can find today. It is enough.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear... I can't think of anything else to say as I am crying reading this post....Thank you. I love you so much.
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